On Brussels sprouts.

[distractionary]

My father taught me to make Brussels sprouts.

More accurately, my father made them – frequently – and then would tell me, and my slightly-older sister, that we wouldn't like them, that they were grown-up food, that there just weren't enough for us to have any – you can guess other, similar phrases, and you'd probably be right.

Fast forward a couple of years, and he taught me how to make them – presumably so that I would stop pestering him to make some for me.

Fast forward a few more years and I realize how many people think that Brussels sprouts are absolutely disgusting, the sort of thing you wouldn't feed to an animal.

And a little while after that, I ate some at a cafeteria and realized that, if that was the main experience other people had with them, no wonder they thought they were disgusting!

It doesn't have to be so, though! They can in fact be just as tasty as any other green vegetable in existence. (Cucumbers may or may not count, as I have never met a cooked cucumber.)

You will need:

• a saucepan or pot with a lid
• some quantity of Brussels sprouts (fresh if you want, I tend to use them frozen as they keep longer)
• some butter
• some water
• salt & pepper
• some spices (in my family, there's an Herbes de Provence blend that goes right here).

That's it.

Put the Brussels sprouts in the pot or pan, put enough water to cover the bottom of the pan in, put an appropriate-looking knob of butter in – I used about two tablespoons just now, for a dozen as I was making this for a snack for just me, but really the proportion of butter doesn't matter that much; if you like buttery vegetables, add more, and if you don't, only put in a little bit.

Sprinkle the salt, pepper, and whatever other herbs on top, to taste. Cover the pan, turn on the heat to whatever your version of medium is, and then wait a little while.

You may want to stir them occasionally; if you have space, you can probably shake them instead.

The single most important part, here, is not overcooking them. This is why they get the reputation of being olive-green bags of goo that taste bad – because they've been overcooked. You only need to cook them long enough that they are cooked, if you have raw fresh sprouts, or so that they are hot through the middle, if you used frozen. This will probably take somewhere between five and ten minutes; you'll want to check on them occasionally, but not stand over them staring.

When you take off the lid and get a giant bloom of steam, grab a fork and prod at one of the sprouts. If your fork goes into it easily, pull it out of the pan, stand there and blow on it for a little while until it stops steaming, and nibble on it. If it tastes done, they're all done – turn off the stove, serve them up, and enjoy! If it's still cold on the inside, though, you'll probably want another two or three minutes.

It took me about two minutes to inhale my dozen, but in that two minutes I managed to take a picture:




I hope that you enjoy!

Comments

[delight]

... wait, we have a saucepan with a lid?!

(Spectator's note: they smell really good. Really good.)

[zarhooie]

Mmmmm that's exactly how I cook my Brussels sprouts. I tend to ignore other spices in favor of fresh cracked pepper though.

[rosefox]

I tend to sliver mine and pan-fry them with tons of butter/salt/pepper, but the principle is the same. Brussels sprouts snapped fresh off the stalk are the best! I love when they're in season here and I can get the big stalks at the farmer's market.

One note: some little critters like to live tucked inside those tightly furled leaves, so my mother taught me to soak Brussels sprouts in cold salt water for ten minutes before cooking them. The salt doesn't affect the flavor, but it theoretically encourages inhabitants to vacate the premises.

[gramina]

Yes, exactly this.

The other thing I sometimes do is steam them like this (fresh ones) until they're *almost but not quite* done, then cut them in half and stir fry them in either butter or a little bacon grease, with maybe some crumbled bacon and possibly even some slivered almonds (if including the almonds, put them in first to get a little bit tan/brown, but *keep an eye on them* because they go from raw to burned in about 5 seconds). Optional tiny spritz of vinegar if the butter/bacon grease is too heavy a flavor. (rice vinegar, white balsamic vinegar, balsamic vinegar, cider vinegar, white wine vinegar -- any of them can be good.)

This is more work, but is also really really good.

[akatonbo]

Mmm, one of my very favorite vegatables! I actually like them best roasted (halved, with olive oil, salt, and pepper), although I will happily eat them steamed as well. (I usually put them in for half an hour at 350; most recipes I've seen cook them longer and hotter and the end result is pretty blackened.)

[danceswithwords]

Mmmmmm, brussels sprouts!

I find they cook more evenly when you score their stem-ends with an X using a paring knife; I think it wicks moisture into their cores.

[celtic_maenad]

now *that* is an awesome tip! I'll have to remember it!

I don't generally like brussels sprouts, but when I'm in the mood for them, this is how I cook them. And then, NOM! (For me it's the bitterness they can have that I don't like.)